March 14th, 2005

Walter

Haunted Entertainment System

I thought this was too fucking cool for words:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=62054&item=8176591365&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW

If you don't feel like clicking the link: Someone is selling an original NES on EBay. A haunted NES. From Brooklyn. Don't worry, kids, the entity that inhabits this nintendo is not inherently evil, though it is mischevious and/or disruptive.

I already have a classic NES in my console collection, my shit ain't haunted, baby. But now, for $102.50, I could fix that.

Unless any of you apsiring spiritual types could channel distruptive or evil spirits of the dead (or just a curse, that would be cool too) into my stock NES for me for less than that. Any takers?

This is actually a pretty brilliant idea. Whether you believe that ghosts can talk to us through White Noise, or that random symbolic input triggers our brains' pattern matching hardware in interesting creative ways... The NES is a treasure trove of spooky signal corruption. Poor shielding, low tech components, and the many points of failure (dirty contacts, iffy power supplies, and cheap, nonstandard, or custom electronics on the cartridge itself) cause all kinds of weird intermittent problems with NES games. Is that shadowing from radio interference, or a dead person trying to crawl through the screen? Corrupted font graphics, or ancient evil runic script (from the beyond)?

Awesome, on so many levels.
  • Current Music
    Castlevania Bloodlines (.gym audio set)
Oh Shit

Oh Shiat

So... bear with me here.

Penny Arcade runs a drive to donate thousands of dollars worth of game consoles and games to hospitals for terminally ill children every year.

Despite advances in medical technology, a notable percentage of those children still die every year. We must assume that at least a middling number of them enjoyed the provided game consoles in that time.

Internet logic suggests that the game consoles of the recently deceased can become haunted (serving as fetters for the disembodied spirits of their owners).

Haunted game consoles sell for up to ten times their normal market value on EBay.

I'm not sure what that means, but it is probably very, very bad. In any case, we all should have learned from Poltergeist that profiteering at the expense of the dead leads to full on 80's style survival horror badness.

(Bonus Information: Asian horror moves, via the the Silent Hill series of console games, teach us that hospital ghosts are the worst kind ever. As a corollary, The Sixth Sense reminds us that the disembodied spirits of terminally ill children may be scary as hell, but ultimately are only in search of closure, redemption, or revenge. You still don't want them bugging you late at night, though.)

The moral? Do not buy game consoles on EBay, especially not for more than their listed price. Ever.
  • Current Music
    Sword Of Vermillion (.gym audio set)